Stripped

here i am again..in the middle of a period of testing. obedience is so hard when your heart is broken. but that's what God wants. my obedience, no matter how much it hurts or how hard it is to choose Him. the bleeding starts when He begins to strip away my securities..one by one, He peels them away, like layers of skin. ouch...know how it feels to fall down and get a wicked little brush burn on your knees? yeah. that's it. that's the feeling. one of the biggest securities that He strips away is Confidence. it's hard to hang on to it when all that you put your confidence in is shaking, like an earthquake beneath your feet. He is telling me - no, wait a minute, make that SCREAMING at me - to stop trusting in anything that this world offers...job, church, relationships, dreams, desires..
all of it, apart from Him, amounts to rubble and ruin. and the peeling continues..layer after layer of gods. big ones, little ones, ones i never knew i had. it's amazing how strong and confident and spiritually mature i feel when all is going my way and the ground beneath my feet is solid. but let one little tremor happen and the story changes. it's amazing though...in the midst of it all i cry out - begging Him to save me from the impending disaster..and lo and behold, He does it. a peace that truly passes ANY and ALL understanding washes over me and through me, and i hear a gentle whisper..'trust in me..with ALL of your heart, and lean NOT unto your own understanding...in all your ways acknowledge ME..and i will direct your paths..'

yeah. you will, won't you?