the pain of pruning

man. when God decides He's gonna break us down..change us...rearrange us...and make us take a long and hard look at ourselves, He doesn't mess around. i have found myself saying the words, 'break me'...'change me'....'stir me'...without realizing that my loving Heavenly Father would take me up on the offer. ouch. shaking me to my foundations is what the Lord does best..but i don't often ask Him to do it..because it hurts. a deep, unimaginable pain that eats away at my spirit, like some flesh-eating parasite. but the wildest thing about God is that, in the process..there is peace.

the word says in john 15:2 that,..'He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes, so that it will be even more fruitful..." freakish thang, that God-pruning. i feel the clippers close to my dead branches...i shudder with the fear of the pain of the clipping, but am thankful for the reminder in His word that He prunes us lovingly and purposefully, with the end-result being a beautiful, strong tree that produces fruit; more fruit than it can handle! man..that's what i want! i have been desperately seeking the Lord's hand in my life..asking Him not to leave me to fall asleep again..asking Him to fan the flame of passion that burns within me and to keep stirring the waters of my soul. this pain..this stirring..this crazy restlessness, is all so much better than feeling like i am trapped in a world of irrelevance and useless doctrine...but that's another thought for another day and another blog:o)

for today..i am thanking and praising God for the pruning process...anxious for the beautiful fruit that will grow and be used to nourish the hungry souls of others.